Daniel is completing University Entrance Essays. We have looked for advice on this and an excerpt from an article to help students prepare their essays for the original MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) includes the following, which has relevance to you:
So let me save you the trouble of buying any of those books and close by quoting Kurt Vonnegut's seven rules for writing well, which are as applicable to college applications as they are to writing everything else:
Find a subject you care about.
Do not ramble, though.
Keep it simple.
Have the guts to cut.
Sound like yourself.
Say what you mean to say.
Pity the readers.
Specificity, clarity, and brevity are your keys. Use them to unlock the writer inside you.
The following prepositional errors all occur in a published mystery novel written by a native speaker of American English. 1. in / on Incorrect: His principles may land him in the gallows. Correct : His principles may land him on the gallows.
A gallows is a frame for hanging. Examples of idiomatic usage:
A friend will betray you if you see yourself standing on
the gallows. If you hang an enemy on the gallows you will be victorious.
Give him a bashing so he won’t come back. Do it right, [and you] won’t end up on the gallows.
So they hanged Haman on the gallows he had prepared for Mordecai.
2. into / with Incorrect: The running man nearly collided into the old woman. Correct : The running man nearly collided with the old woman.
The preposition used with the verb collide is with:
Two Japanese airliners nearly collided with each other in Japanese skies.
The Panamera collided with another car and veered into a traffic light.
Train collides with tractor-trailer in Fort Mill
Speeding motorcyclist dies after colliding with SUV
3. out of / from Incorrect: She emerged out of the bath. Correct : She emerged from the bath.
The preposition used with emerge is from:
Approximately ten seconds later, Adams emerged from the tunnel.
When he emerged from the Temple and came into the outer court, a crowd gathered round him and asked why he had stayed so long.
He emerged from university hungry to pursue music composing [sic], engineering and production.
When they were all gathered together, Napoleon emerged from the farmhouse, wearing both his medals…
He [Francis of Assisi] emerged from that experience with a growing conviction that challenged his previous materialism.
4. around Incorrect: The marchers circled around the fountain. Correct : The marchers circled the fountain.
The verb circle includes the meaning of “movement around something.” It takes a direct object:
The congregation followed them in a procession that circled the auditorium twice.
Two officers in an unmarked car circled the area.
However, the planets, instead of circling the earth, circled the sun as it circled the earth.
We circled the city on our bikes.
The solo sailor who has circled the globe at 17
Source: Daily Writing Tips Nov 5, 2014 see: http://www.dailywritingtips.com/
Sign up there also
You've learned "watch TV",
"Look at that.." and "go see a movie". Consequently, you've
already have begun to develop a sense of which verb is appropriate in various
situations.
While English always has it frustrating
grammar exceptions (例外；例外的人)and idiosyncrasies (氣質，習性)"watch", "look" and "see"
follow a general pattern and that is the effort it takes to do something.
We use see to mean simply that an image comes into our eyes. It may not be deliberate. As soon as we open our eyes, we see things.
I can see a cloud in the sky.
I suddenly saw a bird fly in front of me.
Didn't you see Ram? He was waving at you.
Look (at)
When we look, we try to see. We make a special effort. We concentrate our eyes on something.
Look! It's snowing!
Look at this photo! Isn't it beautiful?
I'm looking but I don't see it.
When we use look with an object, we say look + at + object, for example: John looked at Mary.
Watch
With the verb watch, we are much more active. Watch is like look, but requires more effort from us. We watch things that are going to move, or change in some way. And we watch the movements and changes.
The police decided to watch the suspected murderer rather than arrest him immediately. They hoped he would lead them to the body.
I like watching motor racing on TV.
If you watch that egg for long enough you'll see it hatch.
Watch or See for movies, concerts, TV etc? In general, we use see for public performances and watch for television at home.
We're going to see George Clooney's latest movie at the cinema tonight.
We saw the All Blacks beat Wales in Cardiff last year.
Did you ever see Michael Jackson live on stage?
Have you seen that Gaddafi video on YouTube?
Last night we stayed home and watched some films on TV.
When I'm bored I play a few DVDs and watch them on my computer.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
An example of good writing. Consider the imagery, the strong verbs used, and the analogies included. Consider the historical comparisons and informative description of local mores. Source: http://time.com/3447838/hong-kong-democracy-china-protests-anson-chan/
Hong Kong Is Ready for Democracy, but China Isn’t Ready for a Free Hong Kong
Police officers face off with pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong on Sept. 28, 2014Alex Ogle—AFP/Getty Images
Anson Chan was a Chief Secretary of the Hong Kong government, both before and after the city's return to Chinese sovereignty in 1997. She is also the founder of the Hong Kong 2020 democracy advocacy group.
China is not ready for a democratically governed Hong Kong it fears it cannot totally control
For me the most heart-breaking aspect of the current unrest in Hong Kong has been to see our police force, kitted out in full riot gear like Star Wars Stormtroopers with gas masks donned, firing pepper spray and tear gas indiscriminately into the faces of crowds of very young unarmed student protesters, most of whom had their arms in the air to show that they were not holding any weapon. These pictures have shamed our city and its government in front of the whole world.
Hong Kong has a long tradition of peaceful protest, dating back to the outpouring of grief following the 1989 Tiananmen crackdown, and now including annual June 4 candlelight vigils, and pro-democracy marches that take place each year on the July 1 anniversary of the return of sovereignty to China. Hong Kong protesters don’t hurl rocks and Molotov cocktails, they don’t burn tires or set fire to police vehicles, they don’t smash windows and loot shops. Fulfilling their side of the bargain, they have trusted that the police will fulfill theirs by managing the demonstration with a light touch and supporting their right to peaceful demonstration.
SEE HONG KONG PRO-DEMOCRACY PROTESTERS CLASH WITH POLICE
CHRIS MCGRATH—GETTY IMAGES
Protesters sing songs and wave their cell phones in the air after a massive thunderstorm passed over outside the Hong Kong Government Complex on Sept. 30, 2014 in Hong Kong, Hong Kong.
1 of 27
In a few short hours last Sunday, our police sacrificed decades of goodwill; their mandate having clearly changed from one of supporting freedom of expression to acting as a tool of an increasingly repressive and authoritarian government that seems committed to rule by law, rather than the rule of law. These sorts of tactics may be par for the course in mainland China; they are totally unacceptable under the policy of “one country, two systems” laid down by the terms of the Sino-British Joint Declaration — the treaty signed by China and Britain that paved the way for Hong Kong to be handed back to Chinese rule in 1997.
As I write, the protest is ongoing. This is no longer just about the Occupy Central movement, which planned to block roads in Hong Kong Island’s main business district. Peaceful sit-ins have spread uptown and across the harbor to Kowloon. The numbers of students are being swelled by supporters of all ages and walks of life.
For the time being, our government seems to have recognized the error of its ways. Riot police have withdrawn and the mood of the crowds is more relaxed.
The question now is, Can trust be repaired? What will it take to defuse the current standoff?
First, the governments in Hong Kong and Beijing must acknowledge that Hong Kong’s people have a right to be angry. Our constitution, the Basic Law, promises that we will have the right to elect our head of government and all members of our legislature by universal suffrage. Yet, 17 years after the return of sovereignty to China, we are still being told that we are not really ready for full democracy. We can have one person, one vote — to elect our next head of government in 2017 — but the two or three candidates allowed to stand for election must all be prescreened by a nominating committee loaded with pro-Beijing sympathizers.
Having waited so long, Hong Kong people are outraged at this insult to their intelligence. Not surprisingly, it is young people, the students, who are most incensed. They can see that Hong Kong is slipping down a perilous slope toward becoming just another Chinese city. This is about their future, the preservation of their way of life and the core values and freedoms they want to be able to pass on to their children and grandchildren.
The truth is Hong Kong is more than ready for democracy; it is China that is not ready for a democratically governed Hong Kong it fears it cannot totally control. Hong Kong’s government has paved the way for the current crisis by acquiescing in a phony process of public consultation on constitutional reform, the results of which were completely ignored by Beijing. The vast majority of protesters want nothing less than for our current head of government, C.Y. Leung, and his senior ministers, to step down. Realistically, this won’t happen — at least anytime soon. In the meantime, he and his team must come up with something that will give the protesters a reason to pack up and go home. And they must come up with it soon.
Many of you wrote about things you did routinely or habitually in the morning, consequently the verb style (tense) you should have been using was the simple present tense .... (e.g.: I tell myself ; I watch dramas, so I am tired when I wake up) Review: Source: Simple Present
Verb Tenses: Simple Present
SIMPLE PRESENT
(See also Verbs -'Regular verbs in the simple present')
The simple present is used:
to express habits, general truths, repeated actions or unchanging situations, emotions and wishes: I smoke (habit); I work in London (unchanging situation); London is a large city (general truth)
to give instructions or directions: You walk for two hundred metres, then you turn left.
to express fixed arrangements, present or future: Your exam starts at 09.00
to express future time, after some conjunctions:after, when, before, as soon as, until: He'll give it to you when you come next Saturday.
BE CAREFUL! The simple present isnot used to express actions happening now. See Present Continuous.
Examples
For habitsHe drinks tea at breakfast. She only eats fish. They watch television regularly.
For repeated actions or eventsWe catch the bus every morning. It rains every afternoon in the hot season. They drive to Monaco every summer.
For general truths Water freezes at zero degrees. The Earth revolves around the Sun. Her mother is Peruvian.
For instructions or directionsOpen the packet and pour the contents into hot water. You take the No.6 bus to Watney and then the No.10 to Bedford.
For fixed arrangementsHis mother arrives tomorrow. Our holiday starts on the 26th March
With future constructionsShe'll see you before sheleaves. We'll give it to her when she arrives.
Simple present, third person singular
Note:
he, she, it: in the third person singular the verb always ends in -s: he wants, she needs, he gives, she thinks.
Negative and question forms use DOES (=the third person of the auxiliary'DO') + the infinitive of the verb. He wants. Does he want? He does not want.
Verbs ending in -y : the third person changes the -y to -ies: fly flies,cry cries Exception: if there is a vowel before the -y: play plays,pray prays
Add -es to verbs ending in:-ss, -x, -sh, -ch: he passes, she catches, he fixes, it pushes
See also Verbs -'Regular verbs in the simple present', and 'Be, do & have'
Is there anything wrong with these sentences? All of these sentences end too quickly. After reading these sentences, the reader asks questions because he/she needs more information.
Sentence Fragment
The Reader Asks...
Since he came to New York.
Since he came, what (has he been doing)?
Because my dog loves it.
Because the dog loves it, (so what)?
Unless you see me.
Unless you see me, what (will happen)?
These sentences have incomplete ideas and end too quickly. They are calledsentence fragments. Take a look at the following sentences:
I slept.
Jim flew the plane.
He cried.
Are these sentence fragments? The answer is no. Now, you may want to ask, “These last three sentences are shorter than the first three. Why aren’t the last three sentence fragments?” That’s a great question. We’re glad you asked. Let’s explain.
book recommendation
Action Grammar: Fast, Easy Answers on Everyday Usage and PunctuationThe author, Joanne Feierman, focuses on the grammar most of us need in everyday life, from "Five Lies Your English Teacher Told You" to "Simple Business Verbs You Should Know." She also includes helpful sections on memos, letter writing, and e-mail etiquette, as well as an appendix of troublesome words and phrases, and words that are easy to misspell. Click here for more information.
A sentence fragment has nothing to do with size or amount of words. Therefore, a very short sentence with a complete idea is NOT a sentence fragment. A sentence fragment is a sentence that is incomplete. It is incomplete because it is either a phrase or a dependent clause.
However, we do not want to get too complicated here. Therefore, let's us define what a sentence is. A sentence consists of 3 components:
1
subject
the person, place, or thing performing or doing the action
2
verb
the action
3
complete idea
the reader isn't left waiting for another word
Take a look at this sentence:
I hit the ball.
Subject=I
Verb=hit
Is it a complete idea? Yes.
Therefore, this is a good sentence.
The ball is a direct object. Not all sentences require a direct object. For example
Birds fly.
Subject=birds
Verb=fly
Is it a complete idea? Yes.
There is no direct object here; however, it is still a complete idea and a good sentence.
Here's another example.
I take.
Subject=I
Verb=take
Is it a complete idea? No.
This sentence requires a direct object. This sentence is called a sentence fragment. It is actually the verb which determines whether the sentence requires a direct object or not. If the sentence requires a direct object, it is called a transitive verb. If the verb does not need a direct object, it is called anintransitive verb. If you are unsure about some verbs, use a dictionary. Dictionaries often denote transitive and intransitive verbs with the initials t.v. and i.v., respectively.
So, what's a sentence fragment? A sentence fragment is a sentence that lacks a subject or lacks a verb or is not a complete idea (one reason could be because it does not have a direct object if the verb needs one).
Here's one more example.
Murray takes the train to school Mom rides the bus.
Subject=Murray AND Mom
Verb=takes AND rides
Is it a complete idea? It is TWO complete ideas. Therefore, this is a run-on sentence. For more information on run-on sentences, please see our lesson on this subject by clicking here.
One more way to find a sentence fragment
Sometimes the sentence has a subject, verb, and direct object, but it is still a sentence fragment. How? If a sentence contains one of any of the words on the following 2 blackboards, the sentence requires a second part to finish the idea. Therefore, if you use any of the words on these lists, you MUST add another part.
Blackboard #1
after
even if
once
whenever
although
even though
only if
whereas
as
every time
since
whether or not
as if
if
the first time
whichever
as soon as
in case
though
whoever
because
in the event that
unless
while
before
just in case
until
by the time
now that
when
If you use any of the following prepositions, which are usually used to create prepositional phrases, you MUST add another part, or you will probably write a sentence fragment.
Blackboard #2
Prepositions
about
beneath
in
till
above
beside
into
to
across
besides
like
toward
after
between
near
under
against
beyond
of
underneath
along
by
off
until
among
despite
on
up
around
down
out
upon
at
during
over
with
before
except
since
within
behind
for
through
without
below
from
throughout
For example
Look at the following sentence:
Because you wanted it.
Since you bought the radio.
Do these two sentences have subjects, verbs, and direct objects (if needed)? YES. Are they sentence fragments? YES. Why? They both contain words from the two blackboards. They need second parts:
I gave you the ice cream because you wanted it.
Since you bought the plane tickets, I will pay for the hotel room.
Now, these are good sentences.
How do you fix it?
We suggest 3 ways to fix sentence fragments:
book recommendation
Better Sentence Writing in 30 Minutes a Dayfeatures clear discussions of rules and strategies for good writing. Clear explanations and lots of exercises reinforce the skills needed for strong written communication. From filling in the blanks to joining short sentences into longer and more graceful combinations, this book will improve your writing. All the answers to the quizzes are given in the back of the book. Click here for more information.
Method #1
Attach the sentence fragment to another sentence. That other sentence could be before or after the sentence fragment.
Sentence Fragment
Fixed and Now a Complete Sentence
After seeing the doctor.
I felt much better after seeing the doctor.-or- After seeing the doctor, I felt much better.
Method #2
Add a subject, verb, or both to make the sentence complete.
Sentence Fragment
Fixed and Now a Complete Sentence
Under the bed.
I found my socks under the bed.
Method #3
Take away the word or phrase that makes it a sentence fragment.
Sentence Fragment
Fixed and Now a Complete Sentence
While Fred was in Paris.
Fred was in Paris.
NOTE: If you use method #3, make sure the meaning does not change. The words and phrases listed above usually add important information to the sentence. Therefore, if you take them out, the meaning may change. Be careful!
Quiz
Directions: The following paragraph contains five sentence fragments. Find the sentence fragments and correct them using one of the above two methods.
My Wonderful Discovery
After I had gotten up. I ate my breakfast. While I was eating breakfast. I heard a squeaking sound at my door. It was a little puppy that was crying. I wept. It was really cute. That I picked it up and took it inside in order to give the puppy a big bowl of warm milk and a soft blanket. I took the day off so that I could take him to the veterinarian. The vet told me he was fine. Because I had given him what he needed: milk and a warm blanket. He still needed a home. I asked all my friends to take him. They wanted the little guy. However, they couldn't keep pets in their apartments. By the time we got home. Now, he is my pet and friend.
s.f.= sentence fragment
My Wonderful Discovery
After I had gotten up. I ate my breakfast. While I was eating breakfast. I heard a squeaking sound at my door. It was a little puppy that was crying. I wept. It was really cute. That I picked it up and took it inside in order to give the puppy a big bowl of warm milk and a soft blanket. I took the day off so that I could take him to the veterinarian. The vet told me he was fine. Because I had given him what he needed: milk and a warm blanket. He still needed a home. I asked all my friends to take him. They wanted the little guy. However, they couldn't keep pets in their apartments. By the time we got home. Now, he is my pet and friend.
1. The first s.f. is the first sentence. It has the word "after," which is on blackboard #2. This sentence needs another part to complete the idea. 3. "That I picked it up..." is the third s.f. because of the word "that." This sentence is very long, but it is an incomplete idea.
2. The third sentence is our second s.f. It has the word "while," which is from blackboard #2.
"I wept" is a very short sentence, but it is NOT a sentence fragment.
4. "Because I had given him..." is the fourth s.f. The word "because" makes this sentence a dependent clause.
5. "By the time we got home..." is our fifth s.f. "By the time" is from blackboard #1.
The corrected version is. . .
My Wonderful Discovery
After I had gotten up, I ate my breakfast. While I was eating breakfast, I heard a squeaking sound at my door. It was a little puppy that was crying. I wept. It was really cute. I picked it up and took it inside in order to give the puppy a big bowl of warm milk and a soft blanket. I took the day off so that I could take him to the veterinarian. The vet told me he was fine because I had given him what he needed: milk and a warm blanket. He still needed a home. I asked all my friends to take him. They wanted the little guy. However, they couldn't keep pets in their apartments. By the time we got home, I had realized that I should keep him. Now, he is my pet and friend.
Rules to Remember!
1
Sentence fragments can make your writing very confusing. Avoid sentence fragments in professional writing, formal writing, essays, business letters, and compositions.
2
Sentence fragments are written and acceptable in the following types of writing:
poetry
quotes and quoted speech (click here to see more about this subject).
plays
Sentence fragments are acceptable in these situations because the author wants to capture what was actually said or felt.
3
See our lesson run-on sentences to better understand this topic.
flies, cry 
Rules to Remember!